Let them win

#41 What a Sunday afternoon with Mel Robbins taught me...

“Other people are leading the way, not blocking the way”

I was on a train to London for the Mel Robbins show on Sunday. Once again, I found myself questioning why past me had actually booked the ticket.

“These events are getting expensive now,” I said to myself.

What was I hoping to gain?

I was on my own.

No, I didn't manage to drag anyone along this time.

But as the show began, I instantly felt settled. Mel invited everyone who’d come alone to stand up, and the audience clapped. Cleverly done, I thought. I felt seen.

The whole thing was a bit like a pantomime for self-development.

She shared a message that really landed:

Comparison tricks us into thinking that other people’s success means there’s less space for ours.

We’ve all done it. Maybe a friend writes a book. We cheer them on in public, but in private, we beat ourselves up. “Why have I not written a best-selling book?” we think, as we decide there’s no way we can match their achievements.

Is there any point in trying? Jealousy creeps in. We convince ourselves that good things like happen to other people, not us.

But it’s a lie.

Others aren’t blocking the way.

They’re leading the way …and showing us what’s possible.

Other people’s wins ≠ our losses.

I’ve felt it. I remember following Janis Ozolins in 2022. He was making a living from making visuals. I thought:

“Huh? That’s possible? How cool”

I became obsessed, followed everyone he followed and started making my own visuals. We became friends, and 6 months later, my IG had 100k followers and I left my 9-5 to make visuals full-time.

WILD right?

His win didn’t block mine. It made my win more possible 🏆

He quite literally showed me a path.

The takeaways from Mel Robbins:

• We have to get comfortable with other people winning around us.

• The same people we see winning have struggled just like us.

• In a struggle, we think “this will go on forever,” but it’s temporary.

• Don’t use other people as an excuse not to strive. Get inspired instead.

• We all bring something different to the table. Notice your value.

The bottom line:

Stop making excuses for why you can't do things.

I've caught myself recently thinking that I need to go and get a psychology degree to give my visuals more weight. Mel Robbins isn't a psychologist, and it doesn't matter; she researches her topics and makes her impact.

Whether she is your cup of tea or not, sceptical or not, it was impossible not to be impressed with the effort that had gone into the show. A large production in comparison to some of the more casual book launches I have been to (I have been prolific🤣). Both have merit.

I was reminded why these events matter:

• Experiences over material things.

• Moments of connection that create tiny mental shifts that force us to think differently, and quite literally change the trajectory of how we live 🧠

What wins (big or small) are you experiencing right now?

I think of you highly.

Big love,

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P.S. erm, major apologies. I’ve been as quiet as a mouse. My personal life has been chaotic, in a meh way. But as I write this, my bags are packed, ready for a trip to Jordan and Egypt. I’ve booked myself on an organised tour. I am doing it for me and my sanity. Life's too short not to book the trip or make time for what matters 🐝